Take It Off!
by LadyKakuHida
Summary: Getting that mask off was about as likely as him donating to charity. AU


**Just a little (Well not really little it's the longest one I've written so far) KakuHida ^^ Because I love them... Which is why I've kind of decimated them with my failure D: But I will not fail forever! Damn it I will get better at this *Shakes fist*  
Disclaimer: I do not own Masashi Kishimoto, therefore I do not own Naruto. I think that's the way it works anyway...Either way I don't own Naruto ^^**

"You limey bastard, get back here!" a young man with silver hair marched up to a taller boy and slugged him on the arm, not even budging him.

"Hello Hidan, what have I done to offend his greatness today?" the vibrant green-eyed teen glared down at the insulting short arse, words dipping with sarcasm.

"Where the fuck's my hello kiss you cockbite?" Ah. Classic Hidan, ever the charmer.

"Not now, someone could see us you idiot," his (secret) boyfriend turned back to his locker, punching it. The lock had stopped opening a good few months ago and this was the only way to get it open anymore.

"But Kakuzuu," the shorter whined, drawing out the name just to wind up his British friend

"No!" he sighed, "Look, do you really want everyone to know?" Hidan nodded frantically, unaware that he looked like a nodding dog on steroids. Kakuzu sighed again, glancing round,

"We'll talk about this later, what you got first?" Changing the subject, as he usually did when the topic turned to this

"Well I _did_ have RE," Kakuzu stopped in his tracks and turned to face his friend, who was grinning sheepishly

"Did have? Oh, tell me you didn't…" the grin turned sinister as he began cackling, remembering the incident.

"Yep, beat her with one of them big storybooks in the corner," Kakuzu blanked for a minute, not having a clue what the shorter boy was talking about. It soon hit him.

"You beat her up with a bible? What the hell is wrong with you?" He thwacked Hidan round the head roughly, causing him to stumble a bit

"The bitch was dissing Jashin, what was I supposed to do!" Oh, not this again. It seemed that every teacher did, at some point, say something to offend the young Jashinists religion. Really, he should be used to it by now, but Kakuzu was still quite amazed with the amount of damage his boyfriend could inflict with such a versatile range items.

"You know what? I don't even care any more. I suppose you'll be invading my first period then?"

"But of course, textiles was it? Dude I know your schedule better than mine," Hidan muttered something under his breath

"I'm sorry, what was that?" Though Kakuzu knew him well enough to know he had said something insulting about his choice in classes.

"Nothing, now I can has my hello kiss? It are being later now than what it were when you told I that us would might do it later!" Ignoring Hidan's utter decimation of the English language (Which he knew was on purpose, and done to piss off his inner grammar Nazi), and deciphering what the hell he was actually saying, Kakuzu glared down at him.

"I told you no!" He stalked off, sending waves of death to anybody unfortunate enough to cross his path; which wasn't many this early in the morning. Hidan scrambled desperately for ideas until one hit him. He smirked deviously.

"I'll pay you," That one sentence held so much power over Kakuzu it was unreal. As predicted he halted, span round and practically ran back to Hidan, crashing their lips together through his mask. The tanned boy reached into Hidan's back pocket, knowing from experience that he had not intention of actually paying.

"Happy now?"

"Fucking ecstatic, shall we go?"

Later on

Kakuzu sat in his chair, reading, almost dozing off. It was warm, for once; the fire was on, though he couldn't remember actually turning it on. 'Probably Hidan' he noted drowsily, trying to muster the energy to get up and switch it off. Failing he simply went back to his book, only to find it snatched away from him by an irritated looking Hidan.

"Hm?" He grunted, not being arsed to form words

"I wanna talk now,"

"You always want to talk. You're the most talkative person I know, 'cept maybe Tobi," He told him, sitting up properly (He had had his legs draped over the arm of the chair)

"No I mean about…about us, fuck that sounds gay, I hope you know I hate you, making me sound like a fag,"

"What's so surprising about your boyfriend making you sound like a fag?" Of course Kakuzu knew exactly what he meant; he just wanted to avoid this conversation for as long as possible, even if that meant arguing over such mundane things.

"Agh, no! Don't do this, we _need_ to talk!" He almost sounded…pleading? Hidan doesn't plead, he demands and bitches and whines! A pleading Hidan is no Hidan at all!

"Well it's not entirely necessary; mutes get along just fine with sign language," Bollocks, he really was serious this time. There wasn't any way out of this.

"Fine, what?" It's like ripping of a plaster, quick and extremely painful.

"Why the bloody hell don't you want anyone to know? I mean you're fine with them knowing you're a fucking bender but you won't-" Kakuzu cut him off, laughing. A very rare thing, Hidan actually looked a bit scared for him. But only for a second, then he just looked pissed.

"Oi, don't fucking laugh, I'm serious here! Seriously…" His irritation only served to make Kakuzu laugh more, although why neither of them knew. There was something very off about him today.

"You used British words and it really didn't sound right," he managed to choke out after a few attempts. He stopped himself laughing and went back to his usual 'miserable bastard' attitude, motioning for Hidan to go on

"Right, so why?"

"…Hidan have you ever seen my without the mask?" Kakuzu asked after a while of contemplation (or fighting with his inner self, who for whatever reason wanted to go along with whatever plan Hidan had)

"The fuck's that got to do with anything?" He was visibly confused, though it didn't take much to confuse the albino.

"Have you?"

"Well no-"

"Exactly," He turned to leave; Hidan grabbed on to his arm and forced him to sit down again, with surprisingly little resistance.

"So you can't let people know because you wear a mask? You realise, of course, that that is complete and utter bullshit and wouldn't even satisfy Tobi as an answer. Tobi!" Clearly, he didn't get it. Kakuzu started to move for the mask, hesitating at the last second and dropping his hand. Hidan simply looked on in anticipation, staring at him questioningly when he stopped

"Kuzu…"

"Later," This time he was too fast for Hidan to stop him.

Later. Hidan hated that word. Every time it was said, Kakuzu would scurry out to wherever it was he went when avoiding Hidan and the dreaded question. Well not scurry, that would be very un-Kuzu like. More like a slow, but brisk walk. Ok, well that didn't make sense, but Hidan knew what he meant! Either way, he left Hidan without an answer every. Single. Time. Honest to Jashin, he felt like killing the man sometimes. But he wouldn't of course, he did love him.

'Just not when he's being a conversation avoiding little prick like he has been lately.' What could be so bad under that fucking mask that Kakuzu refuses to let people know about us? It's fucking infuriating! I mean he knows I'd like him even if he were the most fucked up looking asshole in the world, with like…Five arms and ten hands of each arm, so that if he ever decided to flap his arms he'd like, be able to fly and stuff, that would be awesome! Gah, I'm getting off topic… The bastard could at least tell me why he won't take that bloody thing off. I'm sure he'll tell me eventually, well, with enough bitching, anyway. Ugh, I'm tired; I'll beleaguer him more tomorrow. Yeah. Hidan knows big words too. Even if nobody believes him – me…3rd person is confusing, how does Tobi do it?

~~A few weeks later~~

Well it's safe to say this has been a fuck up from start to finish. I tried talking to him but he just fucks off, every bloody time! No Kakuzu = no progress. I could just go with the whole sneak up to him and rip the Jashin damned mask off plan, nothing else has worked. I don't wanna do it in public though. If I fail he will hand my ass to me on a silver fucking platter, the wanker, and being publicly humiliated isn't really on the top of my to do list. Well it wouldn't be if I had a to do list. Which I don't, I ain't no anal retentive pansy, that's Kakuzus job! Actually yeah, that's what I'll do, tonight. I'm gonna have to soften him up first though. What does Kakuzu like? Money, obviously, me, obviously, hmm… Wait, why haven't I ever tried paying him to take it off? Probably 'cause it's the one thing I'd ever pay him for and the one thing he'd never do for money. Douche.

Ooh…I have just had a brilliant idea.

~~More time skip~~

Kakuzu sat in his chair, trying to focus on his book, attempting to ignore Hidan's intense stare. It had been a tiring couple of weeks, with the mini masochist (as he was titled from Kakuzus height) constantly attempting to remove his mask or ask him why he wouldn't tell him the reason it stayed on. Eventually he had just given up answering and settled with smashing the younger boy into the nearest wall or bush, smirking sadistically as he heard the muffled curses emitted from his boyfriend.

"Hidan." He instantly topped his staring and met Kakuzus eyes, which had flicked up from his book momentarily

"Yes?" His voice seductive, he smirked coyly and slinked his way over to Kakuzu, perching himself on the tanned boys lap

"…Get off. **Now**," his expression didn't waver at the brunettes' harsh warning as he moved in closer, their foreheads touching. Kakuzu had gone slightly cross eyed trying to glare at him so close, but Hidan held in his laughter for the moment.

"I do love you, you know that, fucker?" his foul mouth betrayed his innocent tone. The glare softened, looking slightly confused.

"What brought that on?" Kakuzu chuckled, finally giving in and placing his arms around the zealots' waist.

"You know it right?" He persisted, beginning to look a little worried

"Of course I do, why-" Hidan cut him off with a chaste kiss on the covered lips, silencing him

"Then why can't you let me see you?" Kakuzu, knowing that this had to come to an end eventually gave him an answer that would (hopefully) satisfy him.

"Because _I_ am fucking ugly," the smaller boy shot up from where he was leaning into him and looked at him in shock, though it quickly turned into a glare accompanied by a good whack in the shoulder.

"Is that it? You complete bastard! I thought there was something wrong, seriously! You know, I bet there's nothing wrong with you, you fuck! Jashin, you're more of a fucking idiot than I though you were if you think that's gonna stop me wanting to fuck you senseless!" Kakuzu seemed to be a bit stunned, until the last part that is.

"Who said you'd be on top?" Hidan glowered viciously at him.

"We'll discuss that later," 'Haha, how do you like being 'later'd', bitch?', "Now take that Jashin damned thing off!" The miser sighed and, seeing there was no way out of this, removed the mask.

Under the mask was smooth, slightly paler skin than the rest of his body, pulled taut where the stitches pierced his cheeks. He braced himself for a torrent of abuse. It was what he was used to, even if Hidan did care for him as much as he said he did. When none came he looked up to be met with Hidan moving to touch the stitches adorning his cheeks, with a look of…adoration? What the hell?

"They're amazing, Limes," He whispered, voice full of what can only be described as childish glee, "Why do you hide them?" He snapped out of his trance and set the stitched boy with a firm look, only to be fixed a confused one from Kakuzus own piercing green eyes. The miser would have mentioned something about being referred to as 'Limes' but he really didn't want to get into that.

"You're barmy. Completely off your rocker," Was all he had to say.

"I'm nuts? You're the one pretending there's something wrong with you, you heathen bastard!" He had gotten to the point of being angry where he wasn't even listening to himself. The elder of the two wondered why this all made him so upset, it wasn't anything that important.

"Pretending? Hidan are you blind? Or retarded perhaps, that might explain a lot of your behaviour,"

"Limey bastard!" The zealot spluttered, resorting to hitting him, too pissed to even form words anymore. Kakuzu waited for him to calm down, used to his violent outbursts by now.

Eventually the shorter gave up and slumped onto his boyfriend, muttering dark curses under his breath before snapping his head up and saying; "You are not wearing that fucking thing anymore,"

"Yes, I am," was his reply as he was pushed away from the comfort of Kakuzus lap.

"But you're so smexy without it!" 'Smexy?'

"That's your opinion. And your opinion doesn't count,"

"Why the fuck not?"

"Because you're not exactly the pinnacle of normality,"

"I may not know what you just said but I do know that you're being an asshole!" Hidan was now stood up, hand on hips in a defiant pose. Kakuzu couldn't help but think how much he resembled a woman like that. "And anyway, how does wearing a Jashin damned mask mean we can't tell anyone, it's got fuck all to do with it," the miser sighed, really hating the younger man for this whole thing.

"Because, if we do tell people, I'll have to take it off eventually and then they'll all see-" he trailed off, hanging his head

"See what?"

"That I'm not good enough for you," there was a few minutes of deathly silence until a sharp crack stung his cheek. It wasn't like before when Hidan had hit him, it was much more loving. If that was possible.

"Listen to me you fucking idiot, I love you and I don't take any less than the best, you should know that by now. I don't know where you got that bloody idiotic idea but you can get rid of it right fucking now, I'm yours you limey bastard, nobody else's! I can't believe you'd even entertain that notion, never mind believe it you bloody fucking idiot, where the hell did you even get that idea?" Apparently he got more eloquent the angrier he was.

"I told you already, I'm ug-"

"No you're fucking not! Jashin, you're impossible!" He threw his arms up then crossed them, pouting. Kakuzu couldn't help but laugh at the childish motion; lifting Hidans chin up as if inspecting him.

"You're so much better looking than I am, you could have anyone. Why me?" And Kakuzu knew the younger boy was well aware of his good looks, he paraded around shirtless half the time and spent at least 2 hours doing his hair each morning. Only about 15 minutes of which were spent actually fixing his hair, the rest of the time was spent admiring himself in the mirror.

"Because, you're smart and you may act like an asshole but you're actually kinda sweet when you want to be, and you can be funny. I love that cute little eye twitch you get when your so angry not even kicking the shit out of me will help; I love the fact that you don't give a fuck about anyone but me; I love your singing - and don't deny it, I've heard you; I love that you don't care about what people think; I love the way your eyes kind of like, shine, when you smile. Jashin that's gay…. Anyway, I love YOU, you dumbass bastard!" Hidan had been getting steadily redder as his tirade had gone on, obviously not used to this kind of conversation. Kakuzu was silent, contemplating everything the Jashinist has said.

"Well? You gonna ans-" he was cut off by the stitched boys lips on his own, capturing his mouth in a passionate kiss, tongues fighting for dominance. Kakuzu won, nipping at the masochists' tongue lightly every now and then earning soft moans from the slighter boy.

"So," he breathed into his boyfriends' ear huskily, "How 'bout we take this upstairs?"

**Ehh, I think it was too rushed at the end and Kuzu seems a bit OOC. Then again it is an AU... Woohoo! Go AU liberties XD I think this was the...Third one I did? Ch'yeah, I upload things in the wrong order, 'cause I'm just that much of a rebel XD The second was a SasoDei but I might wait a while, I don't wanna like... spam the front page with these failures of fanfics ._.**


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